Sometimes You Leave

" Sometimes you give
Sometimes they take
Sometimes you bend
And sometimes they break you down
Sometimes you stick around trying to change them,
make them someone that they'll never be
And sometimes you leave"
Carrie Underwood
"Sometimes You Leave"

Have you ever had a time in your life where you want all of this stuff to happen but yet you are not in the position for it to happen? Like you don't have the money or the time just isn't right?
Thats right people, Lil Miss Bubbly Raelin is having one of those times. Things just can't seem to get any worse...or maybe they could and God just hasn't told me yet. So now it is all just a waiting game to see if god is going to test me just one more time to see if I bend, break or fall.

And then other things have been going on as well that just make me want to go hide my head in shame. I hear Randy's parents constantly talking to him about how he shouldn't spoil me because then I'm going to think that I don't have to get out there and work for what I want. Well here Randy goes again. Mind you, he's already paying for our apartment (if we end up getting this one) and now he wants to buy a new car so that he can give me his neon. Granted the car isn't New but its a 97 or 98 Black Neon like his only in better condition and its only $250 at his work. He wants to buy it so that he can get a new car but I don't want him buying a new car because then his parents will want to sell his old one and he doesn't want them to know its really for me.

My biggest worry in the process is that I do this babysitting job for his brother for the next few months and then I can't find a job after they move to NC. Then the car that I put insurance on and such has to just sit because I can't afford it. Plus I also don't see why we can't take that money and save it for the wedding. *sighs* At this rate we may never get married unless our parents decide to help which I doubt that will happen or if we take out a loan which I don't want to do. *sighs*

And then after last night things could get worse but I'm not going to dwell on it until I have something to really tell all of you.


As stupid as it sounds...can some one pray for us...or just me in general? I really need it. And maybe send some love my way...that would be nice as well.

Love Always,
Raelin